Saving Alan
by xXxMusicSavedMyLifeXxX
Summary: Eric looked up at Alan sleeping on his chest. He stroked his lover's face, brushing his brown hair away from his face. Eric closed his eyes, tears falling from them. He shook gently, crying. Damn Alan's disease! Damn it, damn it, damn it!
1. Night of tears

_This story is dedicated to Alan Slingby. Here's and Eric/Alan story. Enjoy! THIS WILL BE BAD I THINK BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT THEM!~_

_ Night of shared tears_

Eric looked up at Alan sleeping on his chest. He stroked his lover's face, brushing his brown hair away from his face. Eric closed his eyes, tears falling from them. He shook gently, crying. Damn Alan's disease! Damn it, damn it, damn it! To claim such an innocent life like Alan's, Eric couldn't bear it. He wanted to save Alan's life, but he'd promise he wouldn't kill anyone. At this point, he didn't think he'd be able to keep the promise. Alan was his bright light, and he didn't want him to fade, and right now, he was slowly fading. Realizing this, he shook harder, his tears flowing down his face like a river, wetting the collar of his shirt.

"Eric?" Alan asked groggily. "Why are you crying?"

Alan wiped Eric's tears away and placed a teasing, loving kiss on his lips. He propped himself on his elbow; they looked into each other's eyes. Eric's hand slid to the back of Alan's neck, pulling him down and kissing him deeply and passionately.

"I love you, Alan. I love you so much," Eric whispered, a slight smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Alan gripped Eric's shirt tightly, fighting back tears. He nuzzled Eric's neck.

"I love you too, Eric. I love you so much, too."

Eric wrapped his arms around Alan. "My bright light is dimming slowly; my love is growing stronger for you, Alan. I don't want you to dim any more than you have already, and I'm going to do whatever it takes to save you, Alan, I will."

"Eric- don't, please?" Alan sighed. "Just…just leave things alone. Leave them the way they are." He laid his head back down and closing his eyes, taking a deep, ragged breath.

Eric began to sing.

_What happens to a man when he spills his heart on a page and he watches his words flow away?_

_His feelings lie on the page alone there waiting for someone who care's to read them._

_To open their eyes to see them._

_To see if they can make their thoughts his own to find out that maybe life's not perfect._

_Maybe it's not worth what he gives away._

_You can see that this broken soul is bleeding, so you concede your feelings inside yourself _

_And wander through my heart_

_Letting you see through me now only consumes me._

_Forget your pain and watch me fall apart_

_What happens to a soul when it's trapped inside his emotions and all of these words he's spoken?_

_They bind him to the life he's left behind._

Eric stopped when he heard Alan snore. Eric closed his eyes, sleep pulling him under, and a sweet dream begging him to give up the fight he was putting up. He gave up the fight with an internal sigh. He dreamed about him and Alan. He clutched him closer to his body unconsciously.

_Well was that good? Idk. Never did a story about people I don't know. Well it's 2:46 A.M and I started this an hour ago. So if you find it short boring, that's why. Song is Pages by 3 doors down. _


	2. Shower

_Okay, so like the last chapter there's a song that either Eric, Alan, or both are singing. Most likely you'll see a song in every chapter I write. I hope you don't mind…_

Eric woke and all he could see was the ceiling. Worried, he looked around the room before searching the house for Alan. He smiled when he found him cooking breakfast. He looked Alan over, noticing his damp hair and his baby blue robe damp in some places. So he'd taken a shower and started cooking breakfast while Eric was asleep?

Eric chuckled and headed to the bathroom to take a shower himself. He turned the water on, happy that it was still burning hot. Alan must have _just_ got out the shower. He stripped and stepped into the hot water, soaking his blond hair thoroughly. The water relaxed his tense back muscles, and he sighed in relief. He sat down at the bottom of the shower, keeping his knees bent. He rested his arms on his knees. He bent his head down so the water would run over his neck, and he closed his eyes.

What was he going to do? He wanted to save Alan, but Alan didn't want him to kill anyone. He wanted to go against the promise so bad so he can save him. He wanted his bright light to stay bright and not dim anymore. He loved Alan, and he couldn't let the Thorns of Death take him away. He vowed to himself that he _would and will_ do everything in his power to save the fragile Shinigami, and if he didn't, he'd kill himself and make it painful.

He felt soft hands rub his shoulders. He looked back and saw a smiling Alan sitting behind him. He hadn't noticed Alan had slipped in with him. He turned around and sighed. He was getting more and more relaxed as Alan's hands massaged his shoulders. Alan wrapped his arms around Eric's torso, nuzzling his back.

"You were very tense, Eric-kun," Alan said.

"Just a little stressed," Eric muttered.

"I'm not the reason for your stress, am I?"

Eric didn't answer automatically.

"I am, aren't I?" Alan said sadly.

Eric jumped slightly. He turned himself around to face Alan and pulled him in his lap. He kissed him breathless. He pulled back to examine Alan's expression. How could this beautiful, fragile Shinigami be the source of his stress?

Stunned and confused, Alan cuddled into Eric's chest. Alan began to hum and Eric sang to him again.

_I will stand by you_

_I will help you through_

_When you've done all you can do and you can't cope_

_I will dry your eyes_

_I will fight your fight_

_I will hold you tight and I won't let go_

_It hurts my heart to see you cry_

Alan kissed Eric's chest. "We're gonna be late for work…"

"Screw it," Eric muttered, kissing him.

Alan tilted his head. "You're full of lust this morning," he noted.

"Yeah, well, you do that to me."


	3. Broken Promise

_I have a feeling this is going to be a sad chapter. I'm really depressed what with my dad leaving me and mom. I think I'm gonna call this chapter Broken Promises or something like that. Idk. We'll see how this story plays out._

Eric looked at a mother and her three children sleeping by a building. Eric felt sorry for the three children and their mother. He looked down at his saw.

"_No!_" he told himself sharply. "I will find another way without killing anyone! I promised him I wouldn't!"

He just couldn't stand around. His Alan was dying and these people are in misery. He walked over to the woman, shaking her gently till she woke.  
>"What do you want?" the woman said groggily.<br>"Are you and your kids in misery?"

The woman looked at his saw. "Yes, we are. Can you put an end to it?" He nodded, gripping he saw tightly. He was doing this for Alan. He brought the saw down-

Alan woke abruptly. Eric's side of the bed was empty. He got up and looked over himself. He was naked and a little sore from actions earlier in the night. He threw on Eric's shirt, which was way too big for Alan's slight built, and his own pair of pants, not really seeing the need for boxers right now. He wandered the house in search for his beloved. When he didn't find him in the house, he wandered outside far enough to see the roof, his bare feet getting wet from early morning dew. Sure enough, Eric was on the roof.

"Eric-kun? What are you doing up there?" Alan shouted.

Eric, his back towards Alan, turned around. He flipped of the roof after a running start and landed on his feet a little off balance, causing him to tumble and roll to Alan side. He jumped to his feet and shook off the dizziness. He put on his best fake smile.

"I thought you were asleep," he said.

Alan looked down at his wet, bare feet. "I-I was, but I had a dream that yo-you killed to save me."

Eric's jaw set. So dreamt of what he did to that poor woman and her three kids. He shoved his hands into his pants pockets. His face went stone hard, his eyes narrowing. Alan reach up his hand to touch Eric's face wondering why it was so hard. He'd never seen him like this, and then it hit him. Eric really did kill.

Afraid, Alan quickly withdrew his hand took a few steps back. "You…killed them?"

Eric took a step towards him. Hurt, Alan took two steps back. Eric took another step towards him. Alan shook his head violently and took another few steps back. Eric noticed a car speeding down the road dangerously. He took two steps toward Alan, his hand stretched out to grab the dying Shinigami. Alan took a step back and this put him directly in the speeding car's path.

"Alan, come back!" Eric ordered harshly. He took one step towards him before flitting to Alan, shoving him out of the car's way.

As soon as Alan was out of the way, Eric stood still for about three seconds before getting hit by the car with enough force that the blow broke a rib. He went about ten feet in the air before hitting the road with a bone chilling _CRACK! _landing on his stomach, knocking him unconscious. Alan rushed to Eric, tears running down his face.

"Eric! Eric-kun? Damn, it Eric, this isn't funny!" Alan said angrily. He dragged Eric out of the road, laying him in the grass.

_Waaa! Oh, no, Eric, I'm so sorry for making you get hit by a car! Now I know all of you reading this are defiantly going to keep reading to find out what happens to Eric and Alan now! Well, too bad! I'm not updating anymore till I get 5 reviews. Sorry for the inconvenience_ _~xoxo Kendra _


	4. Hurt

_I can't believe I managed to get 5 reviews. Well thank you, my dear darling readers. Now, what you've all been waiting for. Woo! Can't wait to read it can you? Well stop reading this and read the story man!_

Alan felt Eric's strong heartbeat, heard his soft breathing, but he wasn't awake, and he really felt bad. He'd straddled his hips, and waited for the blond to wake up. If he could he would've dragged Eric into the house, but it was hard enough to drag him just out of the road. Alan wasn't strong enough to drag Eric since he is about three times the size of him.

"What seems to be the problem, Mr. Humphries?" a calm, steady voice asked him.

Alan looked up to meet the owner of the voice's eyes. His supervisor, William T. Spears, was standing in front of him, Grell Sutcliff being dragged behind him.

"H-he got hit by a car, and now he's unconscious," Alan said, his voice cracking half an octave.

William sighed. He decided to help the little Shinigami and carried Eric into the house- bridal style. He laid Eric down on the couch and instructed Alan to take a shower, smelling the sweat and semen he was covered in.

Alan turned on the shower, waiting for the water to get hot. He undressed, got in, and adjusted the shower head where it flowed right over his head. What was he going to do? He'd gotten Eric hurt all because he was too afraid embrace the truth.

There was one thing Alan didn't understand. How did he dream of what Eric did? Was it just coincidence? Was it going to happen one way or another? He had so many questions the he wanted answered. He sighed and shook his head, beads of water spraying from his hair.

_Sorry to let you down with a short chapter. The epicness will come next chapter!_


	5. Trying to Remember

_I'm sorry I haven't updated in forever. What with school, after school band rehearsals, chores and babysitting, I haven't had time to. I'll update whenever I can. I promise you. Well, enjoy this~_

* * *

><p>Alan opened the bathroom door, a cold breeze of air nipping at his bare skin; he was only wrapped in a towel at his waist, thinking William was gone.<p>

"I'd advise you to put some clothes on, Mr. Humphries," William said coldly.

Alan jumped at the sound of William's voice, almost losing his towel, and blushed furiously. He gripped the towel tighter to make sure it wouldn't fall.

"Oh, um, sorry, sir. I thought you'd left." He shook his hair, and beads of water went everywhere, his hair now making him look emo as it fell into his face.

William turned his head and spoke. "No, but I will if you like."

Alan shrugged. He could care less whether William stayed or not. He walked off towards his and Eric's shared room quickly, blushing darker as he felt William's eyes follow. He let the towel drop and reached over to his half of the shared dresser for a pair of boxers and an under shirt.

Alan smiled slightly. Eric shared his boxers with Alan since they never had time to buy the small reaper some of his own. He loved wearing the larger reaper's clothes. He felt so small in them, and it just comforted him. He slipped on the boxers, the boxer sliding down a bit, and his own dark gray tank top that fitted tightly against his chest and stomach, showing his slight muscles. He opened the door, shivering slightly when his foot touched the cold, wood floor. He walked towards the green couch were Eric lay unconscious and injured. The smile completely ripped off his face, Alan sat down by Eric's head. He bent down to kiss his clammy cheek.

"I thought I advised you to put some clothes on," William said in a low, deadly voice.

Alan looked up at his supervisor, his jaw set with frustration. "I do have some clothes on!" he snapped.

William flinched at Alan's sharp tone. Alan bent his head back down and pressed his forehead against Eric's, whispering frantically in his ear.

* * *

><p>Eric woke, groaning as he sat up. He lifted his glasses slightly to rub his eyes, clearing his vision some. He noticed Alan sitting in the corner of the couch, asleep. He looked over the peaceful reaper, the day coming back to him in small proportions. The first thing he remembered was sitting on top of the roof hatting himself, then Alan figuring out…something. He couldn't remember what it was. He remembered getting hit by a car and landing on the hard asphalt. His chest burned at the memory. He tried to remember why he got hit by the car.<p>

He sighed and bent over to kiss Alan's cheek. He smiled at the way he was dressed. His tight dark gray shirt showed some muscles. The pair of boxers he was wearing was Eric's favorite pair to wear. Alan's brown hair was still a little damp and coved his right eye. Eric loved it like that and sometimes teased it where it would stay like that. The little reaper sighed and shifted, his rear facing Eric, who chuckled softly and whispered, "Crack kills, Alan."

"Then don't smoke it," the little reaper replied sleepily. A smile crept across his face and his eyes opened just a bit. "You're finally awake."

Eric nodded, not really sure if Alan could see it. Another memory crept into his head. Alan was _afraid and hurt_. He'd caused Alan to be afraid and hurt, but he didn't know why.

"Alan?"

"Hnm?" Alan sat up.

"You are afraid of me."

Alan looked up at Eric, a saddened look in his precious green and gold eyes. He leaned over and wrapped his slender arms around the blond.

"Why?" Eric demanded harshly.

Shocked and hurt once more, the brown haired Shinigami pulled back and hugged his knees, a few tears threatening to spill over. Eric took him into his arms, nuzzling his cheek.

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I didn't mean to snap."

Eric hesitantly kissed Alan, not sure if he would reject, and to his surprise didn't. Alan's tongue slid over his soft, gentle lips, and Eric accepted the advance immediately, parting his lips and welcoming Alan into his mouth. Alan's tongue met his own and began fighting for dominance, but he moaned gently when Alan's thumbs found his sensitive peaks and began to tease them, making him squirm with delight and forcing him to give in and let Alan take control of the kiss.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Well, didn't this chapter turn out well in the end? I'm thinking this might end up turning rated M if I don't stop listening to Blood On The Dace Floor. Alan Slingby I hope you're enjoying this darling!~ ;D<em>**


	6. Pain

_Well since I'm listening to _Pain_ by 3 Days Grace Imma use the main verse. So whatever starts off with Pain yeah that's the song._

Eric was in no state to show how he felt right now. He was still incredibly sore and confuse. The pain dulled some as the hours ticked by. Soon, it will be time for them to get ready for work, but Eric wasn't up to it.

"Hey, Alan?" Eric said, pulling the smaller into his lap and wincing slightly.

Alan made an effort to adjust himself so he wouldn't put much weight on Eric's sore legs. "Hm?"

"Why did you run away from me last night? What did I do that made you run away?"

Alan sighed. It was the third time Eric asked him the same exact questions. He didn't want to answer them, but it looked like he had no choice but to. "I really don't want to answer that, Eric-kun," Alan said.

Eric sighed and sat the smaller Shinigami beside him and hung his head in his hands. "I need to know, Alan. I really need to know so I won't do it again."

Alan bit his lip. He knew Eric was going to do it one way or another so he just shook his head. "No," he whispered, lowering his head.

"Why?" Eric demanded softly. "Why can't I know what I did?"

Alan looked up at Eric, his eyes full of sorrow. "The reason why I won't tell you is because I know you."

"What is that supposed to me?" the confused blond asked. "I don't understand."

Alan sighed and looked at Eric's now shaking hands, the hands that were always so steady and secure around his thin waist. Those soft, gentle hands that held him high over the blonde's head. Those steady hands were shaking in frustration and anger.

He leaned over and kissed the shaking blonde Shinigami gently, rubbing his thumb gently across Eric's cheek. Eric shivered slightly at the gentle touch. Alan caressed his fingers down his cheek to his trembling hand, giving it a slight squeeze. He intertwined their fingers together.

_Pain without love~_

_Pain. I can't get enough~_

_Pain. I like it rough_

_Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all._

"Eric-kun," the small reaper whispered in the larger's ear. "I'm keeping it to myself for your safety."

Eric sighed, and pulled Alan into his lap once more, wincing again, but adjusted Alan so that all his weight was on his legs. Eric knew what Alan had sang was true. He couldn't get enough of the pain. It was like a sweet Hell to him. He'd welcome any pain Alan gave him, a hard slap across his face, harsh words, his love walking away, or his death. He'd take it all with great pride. It is better to feel pain than nothing at all.


	7. Intruder

_**WARNING! CURSE WORD AHEAD! BAD ONE!**_

As usual, when the sun fell and the moon ascended, Eric held Alan as close to his chest as possible without squeezing his insides out. After all, they were called _insides_ for a reason. Eric simply looked at the heap of mess on his chest. Sweat was still dripping off the sleeping Shinigami's head, his breath still coming in short, quiet gasps.

There was a crash in the living room.

Alan stirred and adjusted himself where he was facing the doorway, his knee shoving into Eric's crotch. Eric groaned softly.

Footstep were audible.

Eric carefully picked Alan up and set him gently on his side of the bed. He stood up, throwing on his boxers. He crept silently, almost like a ghost, to the jet black living room. He adjusted into a fighting stance. The footsteps were closer. Eric readied himself. If the intruder took one more step towards him, he-or she- would be choked out in an instant. One more step was taken, and Eric launched himself at the intruder.

"Get off of me, Slingby!" a cold voice hissed as the intruder's head hit the floor.

Eric refused to let the intruder go, instead he held him in a head lock.

"Slingby!"

Eric suddenly realized that the intruder was William. Realizing this, he instantly let go.

"What the hell are you doing here at three-thirty in the morning, Spears?" he demanded. He fumbled around on the wall for the light switch. He flipped it on once he found it. "Say?"

William, rubbing his neck, replied icily, "What I want to know is why you attacked me."

Eric snorted, "Are you shitting me? Are you shitting me? You sneak in at _three-thirty in the morning_, you broke Alan's favorite vase that _I bought him for his birthday_, and you scared _the shit_ out of me!"

"I'm sorry," William said, removing his glasses to clean them.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Eric repeated coldly.

William sighed. "Knox kicked me out of our apartment."

"So?"

"So I have no where else to go."

"Yes you do. Sutcliff, now get out of our house."

Eric and William heard the bed shift in the next room. Eric sighed and twitched.

"Great! You woke Alan up!" he said exasperatedly.

Alan padded into the living room, Eric sighing when he saw Alan had on his robe. Alan yawned, rubbing his eyes, and stretched. "What's going on in here?" he breathed out sleepily and stumbled to Eric's side.

"It's nothing," Eric said comfortingly, scooping Alan into his arms. "Lets get you back into bed, sleepy head."

Alan chuckled quietly and nestled into Eric's well defined, bare chest.


	8. Cliffhanger

_There's a really good reason why this chapter is __**extremely**__ short. ^-^_

_1…2…3…4…5…6…7…_ Eric counted in his head.

Alan collapsed to his knees and gasped. "16, 17, 18, 19…." Tears formed in his eyes, spilling. He choked back a sob so Eric wouldn't see how much this hurt.

_27 plus 19 iiiis….46. Okay, minus 46….leaves me with 954. _Eric rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. _954 more to go._

_**Have you figured out the reason why this chapter is so short yet? **_


	9. Trees and an apartment roof top

_Did that cliffhanger tick you off? If it did, good. (;_

"Alan," Eric said, "there's no need to hide the fact that you're crying."

Alan, on his knees week with anger, frustration, and hurt, held back a sob and swallowed that lump that formed in his throat. "I was hoping you would never remember…."

Eric was at Alan's side in a minute. He picked the little brunette up into his arms, and to Eric, Alan felt stone cold though it was midsummer. Without even thinking about it, he leaned down and kissed the stone cold man in his arms. Eric nipped at Alan's lip.

Alan did nothing. He was hurt and most of all heart broken. He didn't return the kiss, he didn't smile when Eric bit his lips. He was gone out of his mind, lost in thought. His body was there in Eric's arms, but in mind he was gone, walking down the road back to the house. Running back to the house, to be more exact. In his mind he was sitting in that little corner between the bookshelf and the dresser that Eric didn't know about, crying at his failed attempts to keep Eric from remembering his whole mission to kill 1000 innocent souls just to save his life.

Alan snapped back to real life when he heard and felt the wind blowing his right ear. He shook his head slightly and looked around. Sounds of rustling leaves caught his attention. He noticed he was flying through trees, labored breathing audible in his left ear. He yelped and ducked, afraid of hitting branches. Eric jumped from that tree to another.

"E-Eric!" Alan cried as Eric barely gained his footing on the landing branch.

The humans below looked up to where the leaves rustled, only catching black and white through the cracks and crevasses between the limbs. They followed Eric with their eyes as he jumped again to a nearby tree, missing the branch and agilely swing himself back into the tree when he grabbed a hold of the branch. Thinking they were crazy, looked straight ahead and kept walking.

"O-okay, why are you carrying me through the trees?" Alan asked shakily.

"Exhilarating?" Eric replied with a question.

"I guess…but don't answer a question with another question."

Eric sighed and reached up to grab the strongest branch he saw. He tightened his grip around Alan's skinny waist as the swung to a rough stop. Alan gasped at the so sudden stop. Alan climbed on that strong branch and sat while Eric sat on the branch below him and hung upside down.

"You know all the blood in your body is rushing to your brain. That can kill you," Alan warned.

Eric smiled, obviously pleased. "So you aren't mad at me."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because when I do stupid things that could hurt me, you never use that warning tone."

Alan raised an eyebrow. "Do I?"

"Yeah." Eric pulled himself up and stood on the branch. "You never noticed?" He leaned against the tree trunk and dusted off the back of his pants.

"No," Alan said, gripping the branch above him to pull him up.

Alan agilely began to climb the tree, weaving between branches.

_Almost like a snake_, Eric thought. "Where are you going?" he asked with a slight laugh.

"Up," Alan said in a child-like voice, sounding like a child when their parents ask them a stupid question. "You coming?"

Eric smiled and followed Alan, picking the more wider branches to climb on to. Eric didn't move like a snake like Alan. He moved more like squirrel, quickly jumping from limb to limb. Prey chasing predator. Alan made a quick jump to the left and landed on the roof of an apartment, laughing.

"Hey!" Eric laughed and followed, stumbling and rolling to Alan's side.

Alan laughed harder, snorting, and fell on top of Eric. They wrestled each other, Eric letting Alan over power him every once in a while. Alan pinned Eric down, rolling his eyes, and leaned down to nip his ear. "I forgive you…for now," Alan whispered, stroking Eric's cheek.

"Well I'm glad you forgive me."

"Glad this all worked out."


	10. Hate

_**Okay so this one is based on random songs. Bits and pieces of the songs might be all mixed up. Warning at the end Alan starts to swear like a sailor.**_

_**No, I don't believe you**_

_**When you say don't come around here no more**_

_**I won't remind you**_

_**You said we won't be apart**_

_**No, I don't believe you**_

_**When you say you don't need me anymore**_

_**So don't pretend not to love me at all.**_

"Alan, no please!" Eric begged, tears filling his eyes. His chest ached with each rise and fall. His love stood in the doorway of their house, one foot out and one foot in. Eric knew Alan was hurt and wanted no part of anymore. "Please…" His voice had faltered to a pleading whisper. He collapsed to his knees. He threw his glasses onto the floor and dug the heel of his palms in his eyes, fighting back more tears that threatened to fall.

Alan looked down at the mess of a man in front of him, splashes of hurt and anger mixing in his eyes. "I can't forgive you for the rest of my short life Eric. I done with it, with you," Alan had a matter-of-fact tone, which only tore Eric to even more pieces. With this being said, Alan walked out the front door, his head slightly bowed, and closed it with a soft _click_.

Eric, still on his knees, still crying, choked out, "I love you, Alan!" though he was sure he was talking to no one. He was alone. Well not completely alone. William was staying here, but he rarely came out of the guest bedroom, so technically speaking he was alone. He screamed his hurt and frustration. He gasped for breaths as he stood. He picked his glasses of the floor and slipped them back on so he could see how to get to his room. He ran to his room and slammed the door behind him. He kicked off his shoes and stripped to his boxers. He lay in his now empty bed, and he wiped his eyes with the comforter.

The usually messy room was clean and organized; something that Alan did before he walked away from Eric. Eric intended on keeping it like that so he could remember his love. He closed his eyes and he could feel that familiar weight of Alan's body on top of his. Even though he knew Alan wasn't there, he snapped his eyes opened. He sighed and slid deeper under the comforter.

_He'd welcome any pain Alan gave him, a hard slap across his face, harsh words, his love walking away, or his death. He'd take it all with great pride. It is better to feel pain than nothing at all._ It rung loudly in his head. His love walked away and he couldn't accept that little fact. He was mentally and emotionally traumatized by it. He would never be the same ever again.

_**No, you don't belong to me, I think you lied to me**_

_**And with my back against this wall, it's hard to be strong**_

_**No, you'd tell me anything, look what you've done to me**_

_**Still I tell myself that tomorrow you'll be long gone**_

Alan walked away from Eric with ease. He was tired of Eric killing; he was so fed up with it. He forgave him over and over again, each time Eric promised he wouldn't do it again, and he'd believed him. Once again, earlier in the day, it happened. It was the last straw.

_I'm not…his. Not anymore._

His neck ached where a love bite was, telling him otherwise. At this point, he was so sick of the murder that he disclaimed Eric as his and he as Eric's.

_He's lied over and over to me. He'd say he'd never do it again. I turn my back; another sixty innocent humans are dead._

He sighed as he walked to work. He knew he wouldn't see Eric there, and he was happy about that little fact. He was rather please with the fact that Eric probably wouldn't be there for the next few days.

"Mr. Humphries!" William called behind him.

Alan stopped and turned around, raising an eyebrow. "Yes?" William quickened his pace and was soon at Alan's side. "You do realize what you left behind, right?"

Alan's brows furrowed as he thought long and hard. He was sure he forgot nothing. His scythe was in his little office that was across from Eric's…

"No, I am not aware of what I left behind, Mr. Spears."

William looked almost concerned. "You left a heartbroken man behind."

Alan frowned and shrugged. "So?"

"That man you left behind is going to die without you."

"He's going to be fine with a Band-Aid and a sucker," Alan seethed.

William dropped the Death Note and his scythe in his hands to grip the small Shinigami's shoulders. "You don't even care if he killed himself because you walked away from him? You're saying you don't care for him anymore? You want him to suffer a slow, painful death?"

Alan shrugged again.

William was truly disgusted with his best employee. "That's worse than Eric killing to save you. Now _you're_ the murderer." William gathered the Death Note and his scythe and walked on, shaking his head at what he just found out.

Alan scoffed. Eric wasn't going to _die_ without him…Would he?

_**I can be mean when I wanna be**_

_**I am capable of really anything…**_

_**I can cut you into pieces when my heart is broken **_

_**Please don't leave me**_

Eric passed by Alan on his way home from a walk that had become a habit. He wanted to stop and grab Alan by his wrist and pull him to a hug, but he knew better, and he sighed, whispering what he thought was softly, "Alan…"

Alan stopped and turned around. He didn't want to stop and talk but he found it quite rude not answer what someone called your name. "What?" he snarled.

Eric jumped at Alan's hateful tone. He chewed on his bottom lip and wandered if it was right speak and voice what was on his mind. "I'm sorry. I really am Alan, but I understand if you don't forgive me this time." He shoved his hands in his pockets, the way he always did when he had something big to mention. Alan picked up on this and raised an eyebrow.

"What else? You have something else to say."

Eric looked at his feet. Should he tell him about his suicide plan? Alan wouldn't get mad, would he? Eric pondered this for a minute.

"I'm…dead. I'm going to be dead…."

Alan raised an eyebrow, not really caring. Eric urged himself on, the new image of Alan, cross and frustrated, permanently etched into his brain.

_**If you only knew how much I hated you**_

_**For every motherf***ing thing you ever put us through**_

_**Then I wouldn't be sitting here crying over you**_

_**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOO**_

Ronald opened the door for Alan and invited him in. "Hi, Alan…" Ronald said slowly, realizing how pissed Alan was. "You ran into him didn't you?" he already knew the answers.

"Yep. He's as good as dead to me. He even said he was dead well rather is _going_ to be dead."

Ronald guided Alan to the living room. The room was small and plain, William's favorite room more or less. Alan sat in a large blue chair, Ronald sitting in a matching chair beside him.

"You should forgive him, Alan," Ronald said quietly. "After all he's sinning just to save you."

"I'm not worth it," Alan growled.

"You are to him. I stopped by earlier while you were doing paperwork. He's a total mess without you, man," He leaned forward. "He looked like crap."

"He always looks like crap."

"Yeah but this _was way worse_. He won't talk at all. He'll use gestures and things like that but he never said a word. I unwillingly talked to Will, and he said it's been like this for months after you left him.

"'First,' he said, 'he was screaming every night for him, almost like a child when he wants his parents. Then he wouldn't eat. He wouldn't come out of his room. Now, it's to the point that he won't talk to anyone.' Alan, you clearly have some great effect on this man."

Alan sighed, his anger melting away as listened to Ronald describe Eric's state. He felt bad for Eric. He stood and nodded once.

"I might be back," he murmured. Ronald smiled and nodded back. Alan set off towards Eric. Once at the house, he gasped at the scene. Eric was lying on the ground, bleeding.

"Holey shit!" Alan screamed as he ran to Eric's side, falling to his knees. "Oh, shit. Oh shit, oh, shit, oh ,shit!"


	11. He's alive

_**Eric was lying on the ground, bleeding. "Holey shit!" Alan screamed as he ran to Eric's side, falling to his knees. "Oh, shit. Oh shit, oh, shit, oh ,shit!"**_

* * *

><p>William, Grell, and Ronald gathered around Eric, searching over his body for the source of the bleeding.<p>

"Well, one thing's for sure: he didn't go for the obviously kill," Ronald muttered. "I think his target was a slow, painful death."

"Actually, it doesn't take long to bleed out when you cut the major vein in your wrist," William said. "I found were he's bleeding out from." He began to put pressure on Eric's right arm to stop the flow of blood. "I told you, Alan." He chuckled slightly.

Ronald handed William a towel and slapped the back of his head. William yelped and took the towel and quickly tied it tightly around Eric arm. Ronald looked back at Alan, who was sitting out of the way, throwing up at the sight of blood. This whole situation now mad Ronald stop and think about William. Was he as hurt as Eric had been? He didn't show it, but Ronald knew him. He'd hide any emotion that would show his vulnerability. Ronald shook those thoughts away and focused on getting Eric to stop bleeding.

The team of three worked quickly and silently, words only being exchanged if they found a new gash or hole. When Alan was done throwing up, he sat down and wiped his mouth on his sleeve. William and Ronald's words rang in his head.

_Now __**you're**__ the murderer._

_After all he's sinning just to save you. _

He bowed his head in great despair. _I'm sorry, Eric… I didn't know you were this attached to me. I'm so so sorry… I love you. Forever and always, it seems…_

"Hey!" Ronald shouted. "He's waking up! He's waking up!"

Alan looked up. He glanced between Grell and Ronald, and he saw Eric's eyes open slowly, turning his head slowly, whispering something. He looked partly sane, but not really in a state of staying calm. He glanced through between Grell and Ronald, seeing Alan, his whispering becoming more frantic.

_I love you, Eric._

_I love you, Alan._

Slowly Eric sat up. He never took his eyes of Alan. His arms yearned to embrace Alan. His body ached to feel Alan's weight on top of him. He tore his eyes from Alan and glanced at his right wrist.

"Okay, I'm so screwed up right now," Ronald complained. "He should be weaker than a newborn. He lost like half of his blood! How the-"

William cut off his protest with a sigh.

"You know I'm right."

Alan couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. Ronald was right; Eric really _should be weak_. He shrugged mentally and stood up. He treaded to Eric and drop to his knees, wrapping him in a tight hug. He twisted his fingers into Eric's blonde locks, tugging slightly.

"I'm so, so sorry, Eric," Alan whispered. "I love you so much."

Eric, overwhelmed with joy, nipped Alan's ear playfully. "_I_ forgive _you_, Alan." His hand snaked up Alan's shirt, causing the smaller reaper to shudder. "I love you."

Alan sank his teeth into Eric's neck, breaking the skin. Eric yelped at the sudden pain, but made no attempt to pull away. "_Never ever do anything like this again!_" he snarled in Eric's ear so menacingly that it made the hairs on the back his Eric's neck stand up. "Or else you're gonna lose your manhood."

Alan noticed Ronald and William flinch. Alan laughed quietly. It looked like they just got kicked in the crotch… Eric licked the shell of Alan's ear. "I plan on keeping my manhood," he chuckled. "I won't do anything like this again if you never leave me again. At least, not for months…"

"I won't," he promised.

The four of them helped Eric up, and they stumbled and tumbled as Eric lost his balance and fell. All but William-since he was the unlucky one who Eric and the others fell on top of- laughed and giggled at the awkward pile on. Luckily for Alan, he ended on top of the pile.

"Please get up!" William gasped from under Eric. "Oh God, you're squishing me!" He struggled to get from under the pile but there was too much weight. He gasped a sigh. One by one a Shinigami would get up after a few of William's sighs. "I can breathe!"

Ronald rolled his eyes, and he and Grell helped get Eric off of William, who quickly stood up, blushing slightly. William resumed to his position and they helped Eric inside and flopped him on the couch. Alan sat beside Eric and leaned his head on his shoulder. He was happy that Eric was alive. Eric had promised he'd never attempt anything like this again, but he wasn't sure he could believe him. He's lied so many times… How could he? He's broken one promise over and over again that meant so much to him, but he knew what Eric was, who he was, how he was. Nothing was more important to him than Alan.

Alan was so lost in thought that he jumped when Eric whispered, "Snap out of it, love. It looks like we're not the only ones who made up." He nudged Alan's head with his nose toward William and Ronald kissing. Alan chuckled and looked up at Eric, an ear to ear grin on his face. Eric couldn't help but lean down and kiss him, and he was happy that he didn't pull away. He nipped as Alan's bottom lips.

"Well, this is _not_ fair at all!" Grell complain.

"Maybe if you stop being so damn annoying and a little less red, you might be able to pick someone up," Alan said.

"Daaaaaayaaam, Alan," Ronald exclaimed.

"It's the truth though, Ronald," William said, a hint of a smile on his face.

Grell twitched and stormed out of the house. Ronald and William followed him out, leaving Alan and Eric alone. Eric put an arm around Alan, and Alan buried his face in Eric's chest.

* * *

><p><strong><em><span>Just to let you know, I'm writing this and it's going my way soooooo I hope you don't mind some stuff next chapter(; I hop you didn't think I would tell you what's gonna happen next chapter...I don't even know what's gonna happen next chapt either cause right now I'm late for school!<span>_**


	12. Masochism

_**5 months later…. Yay! Eric's all better!**_

The steady sound of Alan's pen scratching against paper kept Eric from going insane. Alan was halfway done with his the last of his paperwork. On the other hand, Eric had yet to start on the last of his paperwork. He started tapping his pen against his desk with the beat of his heart. Alan set his pen down beside him and looked at Eric disapprovingly.

"The longer you put your paperwork off, Eric," Alan scolded, "the longer you have to sit here and work on it." He gave Eric a slight nod and continued working. Eric gave a heavy sigh and continued working, taking the time to write neatly and to use correct grammar, knowing how William is about the reports he gets back.

Alan stretched after writing the last sentence and got another piece of paper. Eric tilted his head, gazing on to the paper. Alan popped Eric's hand; he yelped and clutched his hand to his chest, rubbing it.

"Finish," he ordered sharply, never looking up from the paper.

Eric replaced his hand back on the desk and continued to gaze. Alan popped Eric's hand again, hard enough to make him jump out of his chair and curse. "Finish," Alan repeated, authority ringing in his voice and in Eric's ears. Having learned his lesson, he looked down at his paper and continued to write. He glanced up every few minutes as if Alan would disappear if he didn't watch him. After a while, he dropped his pen on the desk, and he flexed his fingers. He examined the back of his hand. It had turned a bight shade of red and it stung very badly. He looked at his paper and sighed. Only a quarter of the paper was left to right. He picked up his pen again only to have his hand popped again.

"Christ, that hurt!" Eric hissed. "God damn it, why?" he demanded, annoyance heavy in his voice.

Alan smiled and chuckled. "You're talking to yourself out loud."

Eric blushed and carefully watched Alan as he gripped his pen. He bent his head down to continue writing, muttering under his breath. Alan rolled his eyes.

"You know you like Eric."

Eric stopped mid-sentence, and he bit his lip, another blush covering the last. He continued to stare at his nearly-done paper, unable to speak or give a simple, "No, I don't," or a "Yeah, I do." He wasn't exactly sure what Alan was pressing at. If was what he thought it was, there was no way he was mentioning getting hit was a turn on for him.

"I see you blushing; It's quite obvious," Alan noted with a slight smile.

Eric hid his face. Alan, of course, didn't know about this masochism because he's never hit him before. His hand started to throb. He bit his lip harder, and he concentrated on finishing his report.

_-collection which in the end led to her death.  
><em> He set down his pen once more, sighing that it was over with. He flexed his sore fingers, his mind drifting off. Why was all this pain happening to him? First, he got hit by a car, then Alan left him, leading to him attempting suicide. Was it all happening for a reason? Was all this leading up to some major heartbreak? Eric snorted. _Of course it is! It's leading up to Alan's death! Will I be strong enough to handle the pain then?_ Eric knew deep down the he'd never be strong enough to handle Alan's death. _I never will be! I'm weak! Weaker than Alan! _He clenched his fists, his knuckles turning white. He has to be strong for Alan. _You are his support! Toughen up, Eric! He's leaning on you… No literally, man. He's leaning on you._

Eric shook his head, looking up at Alan leaning on his shoulder. 

"It's time to go," Alan said, raising his eyebrow. He'd seen the whole argument in Eric's narrowed eyes.

Eric glanced at his watched and smirked. He stood and pushed his chair in, and he sat Alan's chair back against the wall. Alan held out his hand, and Eric took it without a second thought. He gave Alan's hand a tight squeeze, making him wince slightly, before leaning down and whispering in his ear, "Just wait. Soon, I'm gonna leave my mark, and it's gonna hurt like hell."

Alan froze, petrified at the thought. Eric chuckled, pushing him out the door. "Don't worry about."

_**Ohh! How do you think Eric's gonna hurt Alan? Pfft, and he is NOT gonna leave him.**_


	13. Another obvious cliffhanger

_**Oh my jeez I'm so sorry I haven't updated in a long time. My mom don't know how long three weeks is and I got my laptop taken up for three extra weeks and I'm still not supposed to have it so bear with me here! Songs called Get away with murder by Jeffree Star3**_

Alan and Eric walked home hand in hand in an awkward silence. Alan wasn't sure what to say after what was said in Eric's office. Eric wanted to say something, but he probably couldn't say it with a straight face. After a few more moments of the awkward silence, Alan started singing to himself.

_**I'm gonna break your heart and get away with murder**_

_**You should have known from the start we wouldn't last forever**_

_**I can't control myself**_

_**I feel like someone else**_

_**I'm gonna break your heart and get away with murder**_

_**There's a mystery inside my head...**_

_**It was you dripping all in red.**_

_**Did I hurt you? Let me make it safe and sound...**_

_**Can you feel me breathing down your neck?**_

_**You're just a perfect little human wreck.**_

_**But I like you... enough to destroy you, tear you down.**_

Eric shook his head with a crooked smile, eyes closing slightly. Alan was capable of this. Eric knew Alan the most, understood him the most, so he knew he could break a heart…while at the same time, killing that man. Eric found it quite ironic that _this_ was the song he chose to sing. On that day when Alan would die, Eric would be heartbroken…leading to his death.

Alan, out of the blue, jumped on Eric's back, locking his arms around his neck and legs around his torso. Eric stumbled by the sudden force that propelled him forward. Alan giggled in Eric's ear. He rested his chin on his shoulder and sighed. "Can I have a piggy back ride home?" He put on his best puppy dog face, his eyes widening. Eric snorted. "You're already on my back, and I don't see you being pulled off." He lightly nipped part of Alan's arm resting on his shoulder. Alan giggled again and tightened his arms his neck.

Eric broke off into a strait out sprint, earning a loud gasp in his ear. He laughed as Alan's grip tightened every time he increased his speed.

"I've heard speed is key for life, but Jesus, _slow down, Eric!_" Alan wailed frantically. "Slow down."

Eric felt his cheeks and neck heat with a blushed at the perverse comment, and feeling his ear being nibbled on until he slowed to a walking speed that Alan preferred.

"Thank you," Alan whispered, his warm breath tumbling over Eric's neck and ear. Eric shuddered gently. Alan's breath had tickled him.

Eric smiled softly as he turned his head. Alan's head was tucked safely in the crook of his neck; he yelped. Alan was biting-not nipping but _biting_- as hard as could manage. With each step he took, Alan would bounce slightly, and this would cause Alan's mouth to clamp harder on his neck.

"Alan…" Eric moaned softly.

Alan chuckled and released his loves neck. "Walk faster but do not _ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!" _ It was too late. Eric shot off like a bullet out of the barrel of a gun. Alan dug his nails into Eric's chest, holding on for dear life. They were home in a matter of minutes. As soon as they were in to door, Alan's back flared with pain that was like fire.


End file.
